I am reading more and more forums where profiles demand payment for active participation in any sexual act or activity.
Is this not a swing site where you go out to meet people, get to know them then invite them to have play sessions with you?
I know I have a venue problem myself,so I hire a venue when I do play,BUT I pay the costs never asking for any payment from my partners.. Except if the demand to meet up with me is from them then I ask a donation towards the venue....I still cater for the drinks and snacks.
Now to have a party like a bukkake or a gang bang sure you need a bigger venue...more refreshments.
BUT to say outright
*YOU PAY ME AND YOU CAN FUCK me to heaven and back*...sound like you are SELLING yourself or your partner.
Or are we to prostitute ourselves like this lately??
Now we all know here is far to many single men who would JUMP at this..BUT guys you can go and HIRE you very own prostitute for this.
Why ask payment on a site like this? To me it says sleaze...and I am wondering if I want to be here then??? My name be associated to a site like this??
Am I wrong...tell me if I am. Convince me other wise
I also pay for the venue if I invite friends to come play, a b&b in Vereniging that rents a backroom by the hour and she is understanding and friendly.
I see thier is another asking for payment. MINI GANGBANG. Now I wonder if this one needs money to pay the bills
The Bukake sounds like he has a fetish to have his wife covered in cum and that I can maybe understand if she does this willingly
Of course there is payment and payment, I know a couple of ladies who date a lot and get lots of presents, unasked for, but still in the situation of receiving
Also one lady that plays with us and charges if you want to penetrate her, she is maybe an amature but enjoys her meetings, she is mostly the only woman with about five or six men
Need to think about this and hear other views of this, if you think about the illegal trade in prostitudes that I am definitely very against it
Yes it seems like it is getting to be a norn these days here... bit sad but well I never judge but it is maybe not the place to advertise pay-of play
As single man I understand I always end up Buy-sexual ( If I want sex I must buy it ha ha)
You take her out for dinner, you pay, take her to the movies, you pay, sit around in romantic area ordering drinks, you pay,you drive from party to party, you pay, you go home get the deed done thinking - hell I didnt pay for this!! Ha ha
To all that now got seriously offended - calm down I am only joking and looking things from a different view
When last did any of you guys just walk up to a girl and say let us go humpty dumpty...no no no you have to spoil and make it romantic and all that ( I dont mind I love treating a woman - it is just a point I want to stress, it is anyway for me more fun going out and talk and all that stuff than just ripping each other clothes off and thinking after 20minutes asking yourself what the F&*K happened just now?)
Then back to ads here - yes that is really not cool to advertise adult services ( if I can call it that) here - there are many other sites you can do the same ( Not that I know a friend told me so ha ha ha...)
Everyone will have a differant view - I respect that - but the guys openly asking money is a little bit too much for me too - and I am very openminded...
To all a good day - lets fire away!!
I hope pib doesn't leave because of a handfull of members .we really enjoy your posts and pics for paying for sex im sure there so so many avenues to openly advertise these days that doing it under cover on a swing site in my mind is just poor if a man has a pimp fantasy and wants to fullfill it or a lady wants to be Julia Roberts for the night I can accept that as a legitimate fantasy, however I have read a few ads where it's obvious that the money is the objective and have reported them to mods to deal with.
Given that this is a consensual, swingers website, my view is that any offer of or request for payment for sex (not a contribution to venue or snacks) is solicitation or prostitution, and I would report the profile concerned immediately
Thank you bringing this to our attention and assure you its not aloud on the site and will never be. I pleade with every one bring this profiles to the attention of the mods and we wil handle them even if its fitt to ban them. I myself did so many times mention it in the pool that this is a swinging site not a porn site or a brothle.
The day paying for sex alous on the site thats the day i myself take my pants and walk.
But again i asked every one please if you see ads or profiles asked for money report them you will see i delete "Mini Gang Bang" and will put a note to them
I would like guys and females point of view on this topic...
The Husband and I had this debate and it was just confusing.
We play together but also alone and I'm not sure about the etiquet on how to handle the situation.
He met someone and they made plans to just have a friendly first meeting... He drove a distance so it was petrol, it was dinner for the 2 of them and then his room that he stayed in that night.
Now this was his choice and he was happy doing it and had no complaints about it. But I am of the mind that you are both benefitting from the meeting and so even if the man chooses to carry the costs it should at least be something discussed just like all other boundaries and rules chatted about between you and the person you are meeting.
When he told me that its just the way its done I still told him that I would never want a guy to think that he had technically payed to sleep with me. He assured me that's not how men look at it but then I read some of the comments here and it makes me wonder all over again.
ShyButCurious,
I am not certain what you are unsure of?? what *etiquette on how to handle what situation*
But if it is who pays for what when meeting for first time out.
I would think that going dutch is the best way.
I know if someone invites you for a drink . He pays one round and you pay the second one. It is just good manners after ...each pays his her own i would think.
I think if someone drove very far JUST to meet me, I would pick up the tab to the dinner/drinks, BUT then I always pick up the tab first meeting out ,
WHY you may ask..
Just to prevent what you and your hubby discussed.
NO one pays for my coffee/dinner /drinks when I meet up, I would NOT want them to think they Have NOW paid for the pleasure of meeting me and I have to give them sex in exchange.
But I also know some men feel less manly if a woman pick up the tab. But I always say there is a next time then he can pay,OR we go dutch.
People may differ though.
voyeur,
I think some women take advantage of that *old fashioned* ideal.
I know they will order the most expensive stuff on the menu and then sit back and see you pay up...I just think it bad manners!!
Going dutch IS the way for me,and I hope more people go that way aswell.
I know for a fact I earn more money than some of the men I meet, and then if they are married they are even more limited...so nope people should be considerate.
I agree with PiB!
I prefer sharing costs or picking up a tab myself! BUT if the gent will insist on it I'm one of those who then carefully pick the least expensive items, in such a way that hopefully they don't notice it. Since I know some are still old fashioned like Voyer said!
When it comes to a couple we usually also share, or alternate who pays for what if it is regular FWB and we meet more than once!
It pays - no pun intended - to be open and up front when arranging a meet or night/weekend together. One of the first items mentioned when arranging a meet - even if it's just coffee - is that all costs are shared. It makes life simpler and there's no misunderstanding of how things work.
When arranging a meet, particularly a first time drinks or dinner date one should be honest and truthful about who pays for what. Yes, I am an 'old school' toppie and a gentleman but right from the outset Cheryl and I shared all costs and bills. This has also been the case with those we meet and host for sexy encounters.
Our attitude is "take it or leave it". If you're too bloody stingy to pay your share of the bill then I/we don't want to know you.
We host couples at our bush lodge and the arrangement is that everyone brings their own food and booze and small charge is required to pay for utilities and cleaning staff. Not once has anyone had a problem, or have we ever got the feeling that they were uncomfortable about the arrangement.
We're placing our facility at everyone's disposal, and we're there to fuck the bejeebers out of each other No, we have never made a cent profit. All costs are equally shared and we as hosts do not get a freebie. We also contribute. We are just too happy to be hosts and have fun.
Years ago we had a male friend that would go to the coast with us on holiday and FUN, for about 2 years we also had a Polyandrous relationship
I would supply the transport and drinks, my wife the food and our friend the accomodation and it worked about equal
Again this was not my option, I would have paid the lot, but friend and wife arranged it like that
pussinboots1 Funny you should ask that.... We have never asked anyone for any payment to meet and play But we have been offered money buy a few individuals.
We personally don't have an issue with being Offered / Given money due to a few reasons
1. It's a huge fantasy of ours to be financially compensated for our sexual "Skills"
2. The guys are very respectful and ask me upfront if I would mind them spoiling my wife a bit. (I don't Mind)
3. All the money we have received we have used to buy Outfits, Shoes, Toys, condoms etc all to be used for our future play dates (All that stuff costs money)
We have had a few guys ask can they get us a gift and what we wanted and we always go for a gift/toy from an adult shop.
Having said all of that I would personally have an issue with a couple or an individual if they requested payment to play with them. This is a swinging site Not an escort service site.
We have turned down a people's offers of gratuity because there is No connection. The people that have Spoilt us we were happy to meet up with already without anything on offer. We just see it as a bonus on the fun we are already having.
@PoohC When I wrote this Fora 8 years ago, I cannot remember if the issue was brought to my attention via a Fora or a private mail.., Someone was saying they were charged by the person(lady) meeting him, saying he had to pay for the pleasure of a sexual interlude with her, and it was her hubby charging him!!!!! And somewhere in my mind I also have a bell ringing a gangbang that the hubby was trying to arrange for money.
I remain with my original observation of going dutch or paying for all first meetings from my side. It is just who I am.
I have to add, I did receive some gifts from gents, over time, and it was always something he would enjoy with me..like a toy, some was BDSM toys...or in one case, a sexy pair of boots, OH, and the one time I received a really sexy set of lingerie!!!! BUT ONLY after we were FWB`s, Never on first meetings. And only after he/they asked me if it was okay. Mostly it was to satisfy one of their fantasies.
As for cash..NEVER if it is offered for free, although Thinking about it...who will refuse cash HUH ? I ask you guys... HUH????Damn, I was stupid.....
It is a contravention of the rules of this site to request or require payment in respect of meeting up or "sexual services". Members will receive a ban if this type of activity is brought to the attention of Admin.
@redbruce, I am not sure if you were here on SH at the time I wrote this 8 years ago, But I do believe the gent responsible was spoken to and he seemed to have disappeared, he/they might have come back under another pseudonym but if they have, they are abiding by the rules and no other posts for payment was ever made here on the Fora. Privately... I would not know.
I've only been around for a bit over 7 years, PiB, not quite as long as you have... ;-).... I felt it would be a good idea to merely state the official position of the site (as a mod who has to take action when we see the rules being broken), posting this as a reminder so that people know the rules (as not everyone actually reads them!)... and to discourage anyone who might be thinking of heading off in that direction. There were members quite recently who were banned for a two week period for mentioning (they say jokingly) something about wanting to be paid, with a warning that the next ban will be a total ban if they contravened the rules again...
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