Hi all.
I have been very busy on the site for a while now and has had some positives but hell some negatives too. I feel ever so much that I have to apologise for being single. I know that there have been situations where forum members said they hate single guys, but that's been harsh generalisation. I'm increasingly getting the feeling that I have to defend myself for being single and have to ever so much justify myself for being on this site.
Are there any singles that feel, Se
Quote by ShawnB Hi all. I have been very busy on the site for a while now and has had some positives but hell some negatives too. I feel ever so much that I have to apologise for being single. I know that there have been situations where forum members said they hate single guys, but that's been harsh generalisation. I'm increasingly getting the feeling that I have to defend myself for being single and have to ever so much justify myself for being on this site. Are there any singles that feel, Se
No, and you do not have to apologise or justify or even defend yourself on this site. The vast majority of the comments that you are referring to were made because there are unfortunately a large number of single profiles on here where the owner of the profile simply does not have any manners. Best thing to do (in my opinion) is to be one of the few that are different. You know you are not one of the single guys that are being spoken about, so don't let it affect you when you read comments from people who have had unfortunate experiences with other single members.
SDMR could not have said it better. There is absolutely no reason why you should apologize. As you yourself said, you had a mix of positives and negatives. So concentrate on the positives. The forums are there for people to air their views, but it is the individual's view and not representative of everybody's else's view.
Thanks for the response
May I add. I have been abruptly bounced off when couples and individual ladies view me, or receive my message. They request a decent approach but does not return it decently. I believe on respect, chivalry ain't dead and for an individual that is registered on this site knows what we all are in for. I had responses that looks like your just in it for the sex. Uhmmm respect and then the fun begins. Its like big companies that say they need an applicant with experience........and they also started somewhere with someone giving them a break. Some people take it that they just arrived but forgets they were also not to long ago in the cold and someone gave them a break. Opportunities must be granted when respectfully asked. What do you guys think?
I personally think that you are over analyzing it. As with any other community you get a very wide range of people here with different needs and different requirements. It is one of those things that one just have to take it on the chin and move on. If you send 10 messages and get a response from one person, it is no wasted effort. if you do not get a response, send the next. But first make sure you read the profiles.
I have to agree with amethyst... It is not nearly as simple as that. For singles and couples alike, it is very difficult (practically impossible) to actually get some action from this site. Don't get me wrong, the site is great - but in truth, it does not work. It is more of a social site like an "adult facebook" with no one really making face to face contact. The creators of the site had a brilliant idea and executed it well, with the best intentions, it just does not work as one would expect. Whether you have a single profile or a couple profile, it is not a case of join, send a few messages, meet up, shag... In theory, that is how easy it should be with a 100% free site but in reality - it actually just complicates something as simple as sex. What I am saying is "don't give up, but also don't get your hopes up". I have been here for what seems like a decade! First as a single, then upgraded profile to a couple and brought my lady onboard... S of yet, no success. Having said that, yes, it is harder for a single male to find some action here but I recommend while you search here, you still try and get the old fashioned way... Go out and chat up the ladies.
It's even harder if you not white. Personally I've probably given up given the 0 success rate. On the odd day that I feel motivated I could send a few messages but in essence the old fashioned way has worked for me.
I only log on now for banter.
What is annoying is couples who don't untick the single male in search criteria and then get upset if we contact them and equally couples seem to lack manners. A simple no thank you has never hurt anybody.
But hey maybe the problem is me.
Quote by amethyst But hey maybe the problem is me.
Your problem is that you NEED the brain-shag.... and only a few people know how to do this :twisted: Yeah - your standards are too high.... I know - mine are too....
Quote by amethyst Any brain shaggers on this site?
This is me raising my hand :jagsatwork: I have always thought I was more about the mental than physical . . . . . but one never really knows, does one?
After setting up this party I have to agree thast it is more difficult when you not white. I have been getting horrible messages. Sigh sorry to bring this up. I also find as a single female on the site that some dudes have a facad. They pretend as if they want whast you do. Last night is one example: I am a genuine and very friendly person, his approach was nice so I accepted his friend request-even invited him to the party. He then asked me to see my pvt pics, I assumed he wanted to see my face so I sent one. He got agro, saying he wanted nude pic, I told him I don't do naked pics, he said then what am I doing herre and also i asked what do I call the pics in my profile. I have a coloured female friend on the site she was sworn at and called all sorts of profanities cause she's dating an Indian guy. Even after you decline requests and tell them you are not interested or thst you are taken, they persist snd get angry. Saying swingers are never taken. Yes we blocked, but seriously. So in apologise if we come across rude, understand. Yes its wrong, but we paint all of you with same brush until proven wrong.
PS. Shawn you would so be invited to our party.
This is not a "Bobby on the Beat" situation.
This is Years and Years of non white South Africans living a very hard life, followed by Years and Years of white south Africans living a very hard life, all accentuated by the massive amount of race related movies available to watch these days. People will never get over themselves as long as there is no time given for "healing"
South Africans are simply rude people. On sites such as this one, every-time the rude members get a reaction, they feel a victory and want more . . . which is also a testament to the lack of maturity of the average South African.
The habit of South Africans of painting everyone with the same brush is just another way to deal with the fear of change.
And yes, before you think it, I AM SOUTH AFRICAN
For a very long time I've refrained from saying this but what the hell why not? I did some analysis and I could be wrong as I may not have collated a very big sample size.
I have never noticed a single male profile have an issue with race, now I could be wrong but in my experience, I have never seen it. Whether this is down to men being more carnal or horny or whatever I'm not sure.
I have only seen it on single female and couples, I have even received a reply from a couple where the male has stated that he plays with all but his wife doesn't.
In my experience this leads me to conclude that this is more a white female thing than a male thing. I would also go as far to say it's only prevalent in those aged 25-27 upwards, those that a younger have lived in the new SA they don't seem to have an issue.
I compare this with say london, because Ive lived there and travel often. London is a first world multicultural city, yet English and European so mostly whites, however people aren't judged and boxed based on skin colour. Everybody has equal chance at everything.
I'd really like to ask one of these don't cross the barrier people that in every race you get good and bad, clean and dirty, rich and poor et etc etc. you would practically shoot down a young, well groomed, educated, good body for an old white guy looking for a quick fuck with an end result of being a bad experience just because his white?
And then you paint all of us with that same brush when all you have had are negative experiences with white single males?
I know that this is going to cause a stir and I've thought long and hard about hitting the send button, but I thought some people needed to read this. Preferences is a shit answer to this preference can be explained. I prefer armani jeans to Levi's because of the feel, the fit the cut etc, you prefer white skin? I know some Indians and coloureds that are whiter than you whites.
Funny thing is the coloured nation is one that was derived by whites and their black slaves am unit correct?
I mostly have the last laugh with these couples. I'm not a racist in any way trust me but you some of this people are just too narrow minded and I think that some of them need to catch a wake up call.
I have seen profiles of coloured (as in not white)members on this site that also say "I / we do not cross the colour line" . . .but none of the white members are throwing their toys out the playpen about them . . . . .
Nobody makes a noise about people who say in their profiles "no under X age" . . . .
Nobody makes a noise about people who say in their profiles "do not contact if you don't have pics" . . .
If what a white person does is seen as racism, then surely when a non white person does it, it's exactly the same?
Quote by Sofistikitty After setting up this party I have to agree thast it is more difficult when you not white. I have been getting horrible messages. Sigh sorry to bring this up. I also find as a single female on the site that some dudes have a facad. They pretend as if they want whast you do. Last night is one example: I am a genuine and very friendly person, his approach was nice so I accepted his friend request-even invited him to the party. He then asked me to see my pvt pics, I assumed he wanted to see my face so I sent one. He got agro, saying he wanted nude pic, I told him I don't do naked pics, he said then what am I doing herre and also i asked what do I call the pics in my profile. I have a coloured female friend on the site she was sworn at and called all sorts of profanities cause she's dating an Indian guy. Even after you decline requests and tell them you are not interested or thst you are taken, they persist snd get angry. Saying swingers are never taken. Yes we blocked, but seriously. So in apologise if we come across rude, understand. Yes its wrong, but we paint all of you with same brush until proven wrong. PS. Shawn you would so be invited to our party.
You know it makes me really sad that I've seen not one single report from you. We need to all make a concerted effort to report these abusive members so that we can clean up our membership, but people just let this stuff slide... which is like giving idiots permission. It's not OK to give people permission to behave like that, by giving them "chances", it's not OK. You all have to start enforcing a higher standard, you CAN'T let people behave like this toward you and not stand up for yourself. As a HUMAN BEING, you DESERVE respect at absolute minimum. Regardless of your gender or race. This is just NOT ACCEPTABLE. We have mechanisms to deal with despicable people on this site, but we cannot take action if you will not use these mechanisms to alert us to these bad apples. If you won't do it for yourself then do it for all the beautiful, lovely, wonderful single ladies who WOULD be here if it were just a little less hostile an environment for them to be in. Do it for the girls out there who don't know how to love themselves to stick up for themselves and defend themselves - you might be a tough chick but there are plenty out there who are not, by reporting these arseholes you are looking out for them. Please people stop "letting things slide" and "giving a chance" to despicable racist and sexist pigs and otherwise hideous excuses of human beings.
You know it makes me really sad that I've seen not one single report from you. LeeEC as a MOD I'm shocked at your opening reply. If the fellow member had submitted a report that should remain between ADMIN and the Team to deal with and you should not share here! Not for you to disclose as a MOD to comment in the Public Forum.
Quote by LeeEC Irish if you are shocked please submit reports and do not cause fights in the public forum space.
"You know it makes me really sad that I've seen not one single report from you. LeeEC as a MOD I'm shocked at your opening reply. If the fellow member had submitted a report that should remain between ADMIN and the Team to deal with and you should not share here! Not for you to disclose as a MOD to comment in the Public Forum." I do submit reports as well you know and for the record I don't cause fights as you state in the public forum I simply state the obvious. Please read over your post. Once again I feel you are targeting me for no reason whatsoever. The Forum is not a place to air that, it should be in private via mail or in the chatroom via a whisper. Please refrain from attacking or attempting to attack each post I make in the Forum, If I overstep the mark that's fine, then you can ban me. But what happens when you overstep the mark - which I feel you are doing now!
Quote by SDMR I have seen profiles of coloured (as in not white)members on this site that also say "I / we do not cross the colour line" . . .but none of the white members are throwing their toys out the playpen about them . . . . . Nobody makes a noise about people who say in their profiles "no under X age" . . . . Nobody makes a noise about people who say in their profiles "do not contact if you don't have pics" . . . If what a white person does is seen as racism, then surely when a non white person does it, it's exactly the same?
Statistics dude 5% of what you talking about happens. 95% of what im talking about happens. My point was that it seemed to be stemming from the female,
Quote by amethyst I have seen profiles of coloured (as in not white)members on this site that also say "I / we do not cross the colour line" . . .but none of the white members are throwing their toys out the playpen about them . . . . . Nobody makes a noise about people who say in their profiles "no under X age" . . . . Nobody makes a noise about people who say in their profiles "do not contact if you don't have pics" . . . If what a white person does is seen as racism, then surely when a non white person does it, it's exactly the same?
Statistics dude 5% of what you talking about happens. 95% of what im talking about happens. My point was that it seemed to be stemming from the female, No dude, 100% of it happens, but only 5% is acknowledged.
I find it sad that the race thing is still an issue in this day and age, even in the UK it can be a problem on the site - I like to refer to myself as multi-coloured because of my ink!!!! That usually foxes them :rascal:
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