Hi, I am new here. Sorry if my comment causes any offence to be taken, but what is it with couples always saying
No single guys. Is it the hubby who have all the fun? Or are they just not TRUE swingers? The copout is
Is that its her preference which makes me think she is not a true swinger and is doing it to please hubby. Be true.
Just saying.....
Actually TRUE swingers would only be couples and not singles at all. True swinging is "wife swapping".
Most women don't like the idea of adding another man to their bed. We've got one already what do we need another one for? Esp if the husband has said he's cool with her trying out something different on the menu. ...
FFM is also the more commonly shared fantasy, so it's usually the one people start with. . And the one people are generally more comfortable with. And contrary to popular belief (mostly held by singles), it usually takes about 3 to 5 years for couples.. most people actually to settle into this lifestyle and find their comfort zone. A large proportion of members here are relatively 'new' at this.
Lastly. Preferences are just that. If you get into the habit of judging people for them, you'll get freaked and upset and resentful very quickly and bail and lose out on what will probably be the experience of a life time. ..
As LeeEC has stated, to be a true swinger you need to be a couple, I don't fully agree with the FFM part as we started with MFM and know a few people that have and still enjoy the odd MFM, but that's really neither here nor there as far as the single male is concerned.
We have matured into swinging where it has become so much more than simply about sex. We enjoy been with people who not only have the same sexual views, but fit into out social lives, people we can braai, celebrate birthdays and other events with and who can seamlessly move between our vanilla and swinging life. While there are the exceptions the people who fit this profile the best are other couples.
So where does the single male fit in. We'll to be honest, the single male is generally a once off, bit of fun on the side, that couples may like to indulge in every now and again. While some of those singles do go on to become part of the couples social network, most are used and forgotten.
With that in mind, couples will either go looking for the single male as an when they require his services, or from time to time when they stumble upon one that might tickle there fancy. (normally in chat or other social setting).
What most couples don't want is the 20 odd thousand single males on the site to be harassing there profile every two minutes when they not really fixated on meeting singles, nor are they interested in singles who think the lady is a tramp, and send some really disgusting messages.
So Couples build walls of defense with statements of "No Singles" or "We will contact you" etc.
By calling these couples fakes, you reinforcing the attitudes that single men are disrespectful of couples, which is one of the main reasons they started build those walls in the first place.
What Single men should also consider is, they are only one of the 20 000 odd single males on site, all trying to get the attention of the 2000 odd couples. The deck is stacked in the couples favor, and the odds are only a small percentage of single men will ever get close to a swinging couple.
Here are the 2 statements I always make and seems no one takes to heart...and WE AS SINGLES get USED!!!!!
Swinging is really a couples thing!!! NO arguing here.
BUT MIKE_ said and made it very clear *the second thing* NO ONE WANTS TO acknowledge,.....singles are play-things to be USED and be discarded....a ONCE off thing.
Oh, some of us do become friends and we do get invited back......but we do not really fit that ARE a/that TOY with out batteries!!!!
I know that this is life and it is TRUE, no one is really going to be arguing this statement at all!!
But sometimes Couples forget we singles also have RULES We also have preferences and WE are also human with feelings and fantasies and are sometimes the rude one`s The demanding one`s. And think they can lord over us singles.
So Here I want to stand up for all US singles male or females
We are also ALLOWED to pick and choose and NOT just fall on our knees with gratefulness if a COUPLE decide it is time they want a third!!!
Best of luck out here ALL AND EVERY single, we also belong here,there are really NICE singles and couples The trick is to find each other!!!
PIB, You are 100% right, in trying to be honest, I should have mentioned we have met some really great single guys on this site who we would like to believe have become good friends. I must however state that they have all made an effort to understand the lifestyle and their role in it.
We as couples are often so wrapped up and frustrated by all the negative that we forget the positive that singles can offer.
+1 PiB
I know plenty of single men here act like ass's with their messages but I also feel there are some rude couples here who confuse single guys with prostitutes. We also have lives and won't we knocking on your bedroom room in an hour after a couple sends a few messages (true story)
The big problem here is matching genuine couples with other genuine couples/ singles.
Well the easiest way Mike is if you as a Verified Member exercise your right and state and practice only contact with and from verified members. That way we can persuade people to get verified and maybe the "bullshitters" as they so often are referred to will clean up or clear out ...
Quote by MagicHands Well the easiest way Mike is if you as a Verified Member exercise your right and state and practice only contact with and from verified members. That way we can persuade people to get verified and maybe the "bullshitters" as they so often are referred to will clean up or clear out ...
One can hope, pity we can't have a rep system to reinforce the verified rating.
here we go again ...............
Its about preference, as for the first post statements of "TRUE swingers", true swinging is keeping to what you enjoy and giving the others in the community the freedom to do what they enjoy without judging them, if you have a difference of needs or likes/dislikes, rather find someone else.
Why should someone tell us that because we only play together in the same room that we are not really swingers (after erm 11 years of playing please note), which has happened.
As for Lee's comments on most people here being relatively new, I cant agree more and its people who judge - or lambaste - them because they are cautious that givers them experiences which are unpleasant. Each person and each couple will grow it at their own tempo, and that means they start at boundaries and push this side and that side til they find a boundary that they do not enjoy crossing, give them that freedom and very few will walk away. Force the "TRUE swingers do it like this or that" and they will go away with unpleasant memories.
I think that I should clarify:
My comment regarding "true swingers" - is in terms of the ACTUAL original definition of the term "swinger" - not in terms of anyone's opinion of what swinging SHOULD be.
With regard the FFM vs MFM... I said MOST couples start with FFM.... WE don't fall into that category either - we started with the idea of MFM, tried couples and now, having found a couple we enjoy are once again looking for single male playmates...
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With regard the FFM vs MFM... I said MOST couples start with FFM.... WE don't 
fall into that category either - we started with the idea of MFM, tried couples and now, having found a couple we enjoy are once again looking for single male playmates...